Kitchen Makeover Madness (You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when…)
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010In this life, sometimes we are given unmistakable signs of the inevitable. Clouds mean rain. Winter means cold. And these 20 signs mean it’s time for kitchen renovations:
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … the plumbing under the sink is falling apart, and you run out of Band Aids.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … your guests all marvel at how you achieved such an “authentic” retro look.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … so many floor tiles have been chipped and filled in that visitors stop to guess “What is that a mosaic of?”
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … counters start to crack and chip. And fade. And swell. And moan with agony.

You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … your kitchen gadgets sign a petition demanding more space before letting in any more “immigrant gadgets” at Christmas.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … the lighting that served you so well in your 20s, no longer serves your octogenarian eyes.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … you can’t scrub the dirt off the kitchen cupboard doors, because it’s the dirt that holds them together.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … your smoke alarm strikes for overtime pay.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … you recount the highlights of past dinner parties corresponding to the knife cuts in your counter.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … cupboard bottoms and shelves start to sag more than your middle-aged body.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … hinges keep falling off and the Home Depot guy tells you that this time there are no bigger screws available.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … your brand new table is just as wobbly on the floor as the old one you replaced.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … your family anthem includes dishwasher grinding, refrigerator groans and oven clangs.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … the window panes and the windows drapes are starting to look suspiciously like the same colour.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … you run out of outlets for the latest “George Foreman grill”.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … you spill a glass of blueberry juice on the floor, and nobody notices.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … you no longer require mouse traps to repel rodents.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … you can’t decide what your kitchen smells like, a nauseous grizzly bear, a dying penguin or last Tuesday’s overcooked corned beef.
You know it’s time to redo your kitchen when … it looks like this:

